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paradigms and entanglements

What caused the allergic reactions I had to so many every day particles... dust... pollen... cats... perfumes... chemicals... and so many more allergens that saw my skin itch and break... my lungs contract... my eyes water... my energy deplete rapidly?


The medical profession have theories about these reactions... offering me stress hormones such as cortisol and other steroids to temporarily reduce my discomfort.


It seems that I have found ways to manage my immune systems reactions that don't rely upon the chemicals offered by the pharmaceutical corporations.


Finding those ways to manage my immune systems tendency towards paranoia has opened all sorts of scenarios... other paradigms... ways of being.


My relationship with... problem solving... my physical body... my corporeal entanglements within the nature I am part of... was built in a Cartesian... Newtonian... mechanistic... reductionist soup of patriarchal cause and effect... hierarchical blame and shame... in the enforced paradigm within the modernity I was birthed into.


Part of my ability to re-pair my relations with myself and the complex webs that enfold me within this matrix we call... body... mind... world... life... earth... human experience... appears via working through unravelling my tendency to look for reason... cause and effect... by dropping the limiting paradigm I was immersed in by my tribe.


What happens to us modern folk when we look for a cause for a perceived injustice?


How does our body... our selfhood... respond to being ignored… wronged... hurt... harmed... humiliated... shamed?


So often this experience turns us towards a call for justice.


There are so may calls upon our rights and the redress of and recourse to justice.

This was wrong... I need that to be addressed... I want justice to be done and seen to be done... and then what... my pain and hurt and shame and humiliation go away?


We need other ways to understand and relate to ideas around… and the practice of… justice... especially if we are to step outside of this self defeating cycle of inflicting shame and blame upon ourselves and each other.

Maybe by getting messy and thick with our understandings around self and other... we can escape this leaning towards using violence to sooth our troubled sleep… our unmet need for community and home.

If justice equals violence... we all become victims of a limited imagination... developed following millennia of patriarchal denial of the power and receptive absorption of the feminine... the yin... the soils… the placentas… that provide every thing we can ever know or need.


The paradigm I am now working around probably goes back for ever... since this universe... as I experience it... be-came… emerged... got tangled up within relational intra-actions... this paradigm comes to me from everything that is... ever was... ever will be.


It is a paradigm of wonder... of not knowing... of joy... of confusion... of entanglement... of hurt... of risk... of re-pair... of re-membering... of pro-cess... of not naming... of no thing... of connection to all the stuff that landed me here now... and as far as I can see... that is everything that ever was... every exploding star... every meteoric collision... every sun rise and sun set has created a situation where I turn up and experience... this physicality... this visceral beingness... this imaginational... co-created reality... that sees me sitting here typing on a piece of technology and invites me to share my thoughts and feelings.


Dropping a need for cause and effect... will always be an impossible task... I am embedded in expecting certain things to happen... and I can live with that... and in this living... I notice when I fall and cry out for explanation... for causation... I aim to relax back into my not knowing... my not needing to know... an acceptance that there is so often... no knowing to be had.


Reducing my need to know... my need for binary... simplistic... categorisations of good and bad... right and wrong... takes me deeper each day into these wilds that show signs of having been previously inhabited... and even offers occasional fellow travellers… post-humans… archaeologists... anthropologists… post-activists… cartographers... hunters and gatherers... the stranded indigenous... word spillers like myself... all of us looking for new in the old... old in the new... feeling out ways towards organising our experience that has no need for cause or reason or logic... and allows us space to be-come... in a constant emerging... with the joy of connection and collaboration... with ourselves... with other... with all there is.






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